We all run into punks once in a while. Actually, I see quite a few of them in the gym. You know the people, the ones who run their mouths like tough guys and get away with it time and time again. Well, sometimes its good to see one of these idiots pay for their big mouths: Epic Beard Man

If this shit doesn't piss you off then you are probably a far far right wing lunatic that has no empathy for your fellow human beings. I read this on The Huffington Post today. So, you don't want healthcare reform? Really? You want these insurance companies to deny you coverage when you get sick? These people are souless crooks. I'd like to meet some of these people in a dark alley...

Dear Lord Baby Jesus. I was looking at http://ugliesttattoos.com when I ran across a tattoo on a guy that said:Bitches don’t know about my Jenkem. Like you I didn’t know what Jenkem was so I clicked on the Wikipedia link to see what it was. Evidently it is fermented sewage that Zambian street children huff. It causes hallucinations. They are so poor and want to escape their terrible existence so much that they will inhale noxious sewage gas to get high. Wow. I purpose that we send them some high-grade LSD and maybe something to eat. No one should have to go to such lengths to get high.

Back to the tattoo. This tattoo is on the guy’s lower back and points to his ass crack. WTF? The tattoo looks like it was scribbled on him by an 80 year old alcoholic with delirium tremors. Maybe this guy didn’t know tattoos were permanent? One can only hope he gets that tattoo covered with something more appealing like Barney the purple dinosaur. Even that would be better….

In case there is another snow storm I built an igloo out of gallon jugs of milk. The inside is lined with loaves of bread. It’s actually quite toasty. No pun intended. I stocked up on these items even though I don’t eat them because in America it is the practice to have stuff so other people can’t have it. When the big rush for Milk and bread comes I will sell these items at ten times their normal price. I will become rich and then build an igloo out of one hundred dollar bills. Of course I will have to guard this igloo with anti-tank weapons and fifty caliber machine guns. I will be justified in killing to save my money igloo.

-I take great offense to people saying Sarah Palin is as dumb as a brick. She is nowhere near as bright as a brick and it does a disservice to bricks all over the world to compare their intelligence to hers. Bricks are structurally sound, rectangular, and they are consistent. Sarah Palin is none of these things…well, maybe her glasses are rectangular. That people identify with this idiot is very scary. I would have more faith in the human race if people identified more with actual bricks. Bricks are not stupid and they are not smart. They don’t pretend to be intelligent. In fact they don’t do anything. Maybe Sarah Palin should try doing nothing before she really fucks something up…

I’m not angry baby. It’s hard to get mad anymore. I used to have the fire because I cared but now I don’t give a shit. The world is a big greedy joke so I just try to laugh. Don’t let them fool you with ideals, it’s all bullshit. Trust me I’ve been there. Actually, I am there and I understand the futility of fighting the pigs in their own trough. The best I can do is laugh in their faces knowing how wrong they are. Its fucking beautiful to be enlightened. Try it. You’ll like it…

You know I'm all for giving underprivileged children a better life but these Baptists that got busted for abducting children deserve what they got. I'm tired of these religious loonies forcing their beliefs on people. Sure, they are offering to help these kids but it is a conditional offer. Why does religion have to be part of the deal? It's because they believe their beliefs are the "right" beliefs and that they should "save" everyone. They are using the disaster in Haiti to prey on children. They want to convert these children into Baptists. Sure, they'll give them food and shelter as long as they can brainwash them into believing what they believe. A truly humanitarian gesture would be for them to provide food and shelter for these children and find them parents that may not be religious but just the same would be excellent parents.

-Well, I guess the run on milk and bread has begun in lieu of the big snowstorm that is supposed to hit this weekend. I hope all the people in Harrisburg stocked up. I’m sure many of them are in danger of starving. Have you seen all the sickly thin people walking around? I’m sure they bought forty loaves of bread and 30 gallons of milk for their family of four. They can make a giant peanut butter and jelly sandwich and guzzle milk from a funnel as the snow falls. I think I’ll just jerk off. At least I'll be burning some calories…

-I want to choke Steve Jobs. My fucking I-Tunes won’t let me get to any of my music. I’ve spent a substantial amount of money on buying music from these fuckers and some glitch with their software has screwed up my library. Real nice security measures. They’re so damn afraid someone is going to get free music that they have totally screwed people like me who try to buy music.

-Back when I started lifting weights in gyms they were places were people worked hard. Some of the gyms were dirty and cramped and had carpet that was ripped and held together by duct tape. The music was loud and people grunted and clanged weights. These gyms were privately owned. And then something happened. Ten years ago or so these small gyms started to be pushed out by large corporate owned gyms. These gyms had lots of shiny new machines and cardio contraptions. The small gyms started to close because they couldn’t keep up with the money these behemoths had. Gone are a lot of the gyms where you could sweat and swear. Gyms now have rubber-coated plates so the clanking of heavy plates doesn’t disrupt the “fitness” crowd. Gyms are geared towards people that don’t want to put in the time and effort to change themselves. They are places that are made to be comfortable and easy. Strength and physique changes never come about easily and what these gyms are selling is a lie. You can’t sit your fat ass down on a machine for five minutes and tug on a little cable contraption and see significant change.

I hear jackasses in the gym I work out in complain about the gym being dirty or that the water fountain is broken for a day. Unless there was a body on the ground I probably wouldn’t even notice any dirt on the ground. The reason is because I’m focused on my workout. I’m working too hard to give a fuck whether a treadmill glistens when the sun hits it or whether someone spit shined the upholstery on a leg press machine. These people don’t belong in gyms but the corporate pricks want them because they are the ones who pay for memberships and then never come to the gym. They are the people that want to believe they are being “healthy” but are in fact lazy couch potatoes.

I would love to open a gym with real iron weights where I could play music loud and drop 600 pound deadlifts on the floor without getting dirty looks from some jerk in a tight spandex uni-tard giving me dirty looks. I just might do that….