That smell

I read online that people often have a heightened sense of smell after influenza or some other illness. Well, I’ve been feeling under the weather for a week or so, nothing serious but just generally not like myself. The other day I walked out into the receptionist’s office and was overcome with the smell of shit. It was as if I suddenly had superhuman nose holes. “By God what is that stench?” I asked. No one else could really smell anything except the faint odor of maybe a fart or methane gas. I dismissed the incident until I was in the gym that night and I noticed the body odor of some guy on a treadmill. He smelled like he’d been swimming around in a cesspool. I almost puked. Suddenly it seemed I’d been given superhuman smelling ability and it was frightening. Of all the damn senses to be heightened mine had to be smell.

That evening working as a personal trainer at the gym was Hell to get through. The woman at the front desk smelled like cat pee so much that I had to put a towel over my mouth so I wouldn’t smell her. The locker room smelled like rotten fruit. The guy I trained smelled like a compost heap. I had to breathe through my mouth for the remainder of the night at the gym. By the time it was time to leave I was weak from holding my breath so much. When I got home I dropped on the couch and my dogs jumped up on my chest. All was well until my old dog farted while sitting on my chest. Now, I can only hope this superhuman smelling ability will go away before I have to go back to the gym. Why couldn’t I be given superhuman eyesight…no, of course I would looked through your bra and g-string…