I was reading an article by Frank DeFord on SI.com about the fact that many schools have banned TAG! Yes, they claim it is dangerous and demeaning. Gee, what would happen if someone scraped a knee? Worse yet the article points out what if someone was “IT”! Can you imagine the stigma of being “IT”? We are raising the biggest bunch of pansies in history in this country. It’s no wonder kids are fat and out of shape since they’re not allowed to do anything anymore. Well, I take that back. Evidently they do get stuck inside those crane machines in arcades that you try to snag a stuffed animal with. I read an article about another kid climbing up into one of these machines because he wanted a Spongehead Bob doll. The mother said, “He’s a character.” He’s not a character he’s a fucking brat. If I would have gotten myself stuck like this as a child I would have gotten my ass smacked and rightly so. Let me take that back I would have NEVER had the audacity to climb into a machine to steal a stuffed animal. The article went on to show many other pictures of kids stuck in these machines across the country. Do people really think this is cute? Earth to bad parents, it’s not fucking cute, your child is an
undisciplined brat. I have an idea. Why don’t we stick broccoli in these machines? If the kids can’t pick up the broccoli it falls out onto a plate and they have to eat it effectively making them “IT.” They will be “IT” until they clear their plates and then when and only when their plates are cleared will they not be “IT”. If they refuse to eat the broccoli they will remain “IT” and they have to run laps around the machine until they’re gasping for air. These broccoli crane machines will make kids healthy again and help with self esteem. “Gee, Johnny you ate your entire plate of broccoli. You’re not it and guess what? You’re not a fat slob anymore either.”
4 comments:
I read those articles too. Something is horribly wrong with the mentality of some people. How the hell can you prohibit children from hurting themselves? If they don't play tag, they'll climb trees or pinch dogs or throw rocks.
tsssk
they might as well ban duck-duck-goose, too. it's kinda discriminatory against the goose.
Last winter local school children were prevented from building a snow fort because this created exclusion - which is considered bullying - no more snow forts at recess. The exclusionary part of it consisted of the 4 smallest children in the class trying to protect their hard work from being destroyed by older and stronger children who thought it was amusing to destroy the fort. In their frustration and natural inclination to protect their hard work they told them to go away. They were sentenced to four days of detention and a bullying expert was brought to the school. However, after spending a few hours with the little bullies the principal commuted their sentence based on good behaviour. For a short while they enjoyed a little burst of self-esteem by being labelled as bullies.
AMEN
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