The apocalyptic moon baby had been tucked in a gap between the teeth of time by a marauding eclipse and consequently forgotten. Many millions of years later two enterprising lunar pelicans—out looking for space shuttle debris for lunch—found the sleeping apocalyptic moon baby. They tied floss to their left legs and dove into the mouth of time. They drove the floss between the polished gypsum teeth and told the apocalyptic moon baby to grab hold. She grabbed on with her uranium filled hands and was consequently freed but lost her grip on the slick floss and fell at a million miles an hour to earth. I found her in a dry riverbed while out excavating dinosaur watches. She pressed her left nipple and the countdown in her eyes began…