Big Splash

The frog trumpeters blew in a hollowed out log which was quickly capped on either end with giant toilet plungers. BIG SPLASH. The alligators awoke from nightmares in which they battled giant shoe horns and human feet smelling of vinegar. The swamp queen slurped mud from a Pepsi can as the snails clinging to her barnacle laden ears whispered to her that everything would be cool. The crawdads scaled the Cyprus in a conga line shaking their hard shelled booty to the rhythm of the waves slapping against the shoreline. Somewhere deep in the thick swamp bottom, where the swamp king oft thrusts his crooked shower rod trident searching for full beers lost by drunken fisherman, there lays a projectile with USA stamped on the side. The heirs to the swamp throne are now born with extra toes which make it easier to dig for mollusks and to scratch their four low hanging testicles with….