So what

You want to believe but the grass is damp with dew and the fat man in the long station wagon tosses a newspaper onto your lawn and you pop another pill because sleep is so much like death. The neighbors come out to get their papers and they stop and look at you sitting on your front porch shaking. You grind your teeth together and wave but you know the wave is all wrong; too fast, too desperate, too human. The neighbor turns uneasily to go inside and then sprints to the front door. You pour more coffee down your throat and you are sure you feel your soul come unhinged and you are SURE you see it float up into the clouds and hover there protected in the anonymity of the water vapor. And so another day passes…