Dear Kerouaced: real questions from real people

Dear Kerouaced:

Can you provide a rational explanation for why everyone gets selective driving amnesia when it starts raining? It appears to be a universal thing, everyone just freaks out when it starts to rain. Or snow or sleet, for that matter. How is the water content of the air correlated to memory? I don't get it.

Signed Road Rage

Dear Road Rage,

Was it Freud who said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar?” Yeah, don’t over think this one too much. It’s obvious to me that you’re giving too much credence to the concept of humans being civilized. We are for the most part savage animals and though some can rise above the basic cravings, egocentric mind sets and primitive fears etched into the walls of our DNA most are destined to live solely in the pleasure centers of the brain. In other words when these people see precipitation of any sort it brings the animal out in them, they want to avoid any discomfort and want pleasure ie avoidance of pain. They aren’t intelligent enough to proceed calmly but subconsciously are thinking of all the evils associated with snow or rain, such as being caught in the Andes Mountains like the rugby team in the movie Alive. Irrational? Yes, but try telling that to a 300 pound soccer mother going 65 miles an hour down the highway during a blizzard in a minivan. She thinks solely of herself and her brood and getting them out of the blizzard though she is risking the lives of many others with her erratic driving. My suggestion would be to drive defensively. Block the assholes that try to pass you on the brim of the road when traffic is backed up and keep several car lengths between you and other cars whenever possible. If you have an old pickup truck I would kindly bump into people that aren’t paying attention to the traffic laws. I hope this was helpful and be safe.

Kerouaced