They Come

He said he would come down to our office and “kick some ass.” He was talking to a secretary when he said this. Big man. I commandeered the receiver and barked into it like this: COME ON DOWN MOTHER FUCKER. I”LL RIP YOU THE FUCK IN HALF!

He was so mad I could hear him giving me the finger over the phone but this didn’t deter me. I know. I know. It’s the GUNS isn’t it? The kind that shoot. He could easily blow me away. Pop me full of air holes, make me incapable of holding my liquor. But wait I can explain. There’s this wonderful little drug that the body produces that erases common sense. Come close. I’ll tell you what it’s called ANDRENALIN. Yeah that’s it. Along with healthy bursting doses of testosterone it renders all that is considered social acceptable void and yes nil too.

So. He came. He came to the large red front door, his nose holes flaring out as big as the top of two Styrafoam cups. I blocked him like this: KARATE KICK! BAM! Damn, that must have hurt. He came back. I sprayed him with the mace that I had borrowed from one of the secretaries. Gasping, he fell back. I kicked him in the stomach. I kicked him in the head again and again and again.

That’s not fair he said.

Survival never is I said.

He was HUGE, six foot something with muscles like bags of cement and me at 5’8 200 lbs. I am a giant killer. I am the wolf slayer. Stay the fuck out of my way. Yeah you. You know who you are...