She smiled. “I’m twenty-two, the second youngest of eleven children.”

“You’re full of shit.”

“No, really I am.”

“Why did your parents have so many kids? Are you a Mormon or something?”

“No, I guess my parents just liked to fuck a lot.”

I spit some beer up.

“So why are you buying the drinks for these five guys,” I asked.

“These are my brothers.”

I looked at them. They looked like they’d fallen off the page of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog. “Those aren’t your brothers.”

She smiled. “They’re my friends, they’re gay. They tell me to say that so guys don’t hit on me.”

I took a drink from my beer. “Well, I’m not hitting on you.”

She smiled. She was gorgeous. “I know your not,” she said.

“Let me buy you a drink.”

“Okay, rum and coke.”

I ordered the drink. Her gay friends were looking me over. “Do they want something?”

“You don’t need to get them anything.”

That smile. “What do you do?” she asked.

“A lot of things.”

She laughed.

“I am a writer and a personal trainer and I work in a law firm.”

“You’re a writer?”

“I’m whatever you want me to be.” Sure it was a bad line but when you’re drunk it seems clever and she laughed so I was good.

Her hair fell in her face and I gently moved it to the side.

“Can I kiss you?” I asked.

I didn’t wait for her to answer…

…

I woke up and didn’t know where the fuck I was and then I saw the blonde. I got out of bed and went looking for the bathroom. There were wood steps and I started up them. At the top I lost my footing and still being drunk and high my face smashed into the ground.

It didn’t hurt much but the blood was pouring out. It was everywhere, on the carpet and steps, on my shirt. I dripped blood all the way to the bathroom where I tried to stop the flow with a hand towel. I knew then that it was time to get the fuck out of this place before I had to explain the blood everywhere.

My shoes and jacket were on the couch next to the door. I flicked on the light and got a look at the blood. It looked like someone had been ritually sacrificing goats with a dull knife.

The door was thankfully quiet and I slipped out into the night. The city was asleep and the cold air felt good in my lungs. I didn’t know where the fuck I was but my buzz was still going strong, at least I had that going for me…