In light of someone pointing out that I have a receding hairline—thank-you, I was totally unaware—I shall start shopping for toupees. So, if you see me with a pompadour please just go with it. Act natural. Pretend it’s high school again and there was never a time in-between my mullet and my current widowed peak. Buy me hair products for Christmas and gift certificates to the local hair dressers so I think you are all fooled. We can all live this beautiful hairy lie together and happiness will once again be ours.