Bye Bye Sweet World

I will scrimp and save so that I may be buried four hundred feet down in a glass case filled with formaldehyde, my Chihuahuas at my side. When the big bombs go boom and then 10 million years later the cockroaches are ruling the world-- with an iron claw--they will discover me and dig me up. They will have technology we never had—skyscrapers made of rotting food and cars made of molded feces--and will be able to revive me and my dogs. I suspect at first, they will ask me all kinds of questions prod and probe, which could be fun it is a particularly attractive female cockroach with gentle claws. They will ultimately be disappointed, as we humans are really quite boorish and not as clever as we think. They will lock me in a zoo and throw me bits of cotton candy and I will jack off like the monkeys in our zoos and I will be thinking of you some 10 million years dead…