Boycotting Heaven

I have come to the conclusion that dying is overrated and therefore I have decided to not take part in the whole mortality thing. My preparation for living forever shall begin here today and I shall document it so that others may follow my example. I will simply refuse to age, not partake in gray and then white hair or sagging skin or aching joints. I will never let my home smell like moth balls or stop going to the gym. I shall will my heart to keep beating long after it should have stopped and tie a board to my back so that it never bends. I will stay away from the tunnel and wear sunglasses so I can’t see the light. I will buy futures in coal in hopes I will live to see it turn to diamonds. Fuck dying I’m having too much fun now and I never want it to end.