These are not my words they are an imposters. Please call XXX-XXX-XXX4 (sorry I had to X out most of the number to protect the innocent) and give any information you might have pertaining to who this bastard might be who has stolen my identity. There is no cash reward but if you are an extremely attractive female I just might find it within myself to take you out to my favorite restaurant and get you drunk. Thank-you for your time.