I watched as the Captain’s patriotic underpants floated on the surface of the water for a moment and then unceremoniously sank to the bottom. Damn him, I thought, now I’m going to have to save him at the very time my own life is in jeopardy. The idea of seeing him flaying around in the nude gave me a moment’s pause though, for if he really were in danger and required some sort of physical help then I might have to come in contact with him. It was a thought that made my gag reflex kick in but I quickly recovered for I knew that a time like this weakness could be deadly.
I pulled myself up onto the dock and grabbed someone’s towel so if needed I could swaddle the Captain in it and perhaps he could wear it like a diaper.
Just as I made for the stair case Macho Man, Mr. Timball and his two goons arrived. I was quick though and managed to make it to the staircase and scale it to the top floor and the entrance of the water slide without being detected.
An attendant sat next to the slide smoking a joint and leafing through a Playboy magazine. He smiled with giant white teeth, pushed the girlie magazine aside and thrust a plastic cup filled with money at me. “You give me good tip, you get good ride, mon.”
The emphasis was on the word ride and I knew then that the Captain had succumb to some strange pay as you go orgy, that he in fact was pecker deep in some sort of plastic third world whore house quaffing rum and feeling up native women. For the Captain there was no other option. His loins controlled his destiny.
“Pay as you go?” I asked.
The waterslide attendant lifted his mirrored sunglasses. “The more you pay the more you go.”
“Right, what if I pay so that someone else won’t go?”
“You mean the guys at the bottom of the staircase?”
I looked down just as Macho Man pointed at me and started up the staircase. “That’s right.”
“It cost you big money, mon.”
“How does two-hundred dollars sound?”
“It sounds very good. Why don’t climb aboard.” He lifted a T-shirt next to his side which was covering a red lever. Painted on the lever in yellow was the word: Underworld.
I reached into the pocket of my swim trunks and procured two one hundred dollar bills and handed them to the attendant. He grabbed them and stuffed them into his cup.
He motioned me towards the slide with an open hand. “Enjoy and make sure to cross your legs, fold your arms across your chest and pinch your nose.”
“Right,” I said and thrust myself into the gaping mouth of the water slide.
* * *
The water slide was constructed at such a steep angle that I built up incredible amounts of speed which were greatly enhanced by the copious amounts of
The g-force sucked my cheeks back and I thought surely I would rupture something vital, perhaps blow out an eyeball or break my leg. My fears worsened when in front of me the bottom of the water slide dropped open and I slid down into another chute. I glanced over my shoulder as the false bottom of the other water slide closed again.
“Look out below,” I cried.
A very intense light blinded me and my body shot into a pool of warm ocean water. I emerged spitting up the salty water and flailed there for some time like a naked chicken in an oil slick. When my eyesight cleared I realized I was in some sort of underground cavern light by torches and the glow of the plasma TV above the pool bar. The Captain was sitting naked on a cement bar stool slurping from a hollowed out coconut. A beautiful black woman, wearing only an orange bikini bottom, stood behind him rubbing his shoulders.
The Captain turned towards me. “What took you so long?”
“By God man put something decent on,” I said tossing the wet towel to him. “You look like some sort of before picture for a skin revitalizing center.”
I waded over towards the Captain and sat on the bar stool next to him. Immediately I was surrounded by four or five very beautiful women. A hand shot down the front of my swim trunks and all thoughts of Macho Man and Mr. Timball were purged from my head.
“Why the Hell didn’t you come up and get me?” I asked the Captain.
He motioned the bartender over. “Two more of these,”
“Thanks, I could use a drink.”
“No, they’re both for me. You get your own.”
“Right.”
I followed the hand in my swimming trunks up a slender arm and to the face of an even more beautiful “entertainer.” “You really have a future in this line of work. I see big things for you.”
“Ha ha, not as big as mine,” the Captain said.
“Must everything relate back to your diseased member?”
The woman rubbing the Captain’s shoulders took a step back.
“It’s not diseased it’s just blue,” the Captain said.
“Blue?” the woman asked.
A coconut drink was thrust in front of me and as I continued to receive a hand job I guzzled the sweet concoction finishing it off. “Damn, that was good.”
I thought about staying in the cavern for the rest of my life, perhaps renting a space under the pool bar, getting a job hocking trinkets or pulling tourists around in a rickshaw. I folded my arms behind my head and leaned back facing the pool and that is when I heard a horrible rumbling and in the next instant someone shot out of the water slide. I leaned forward and Macho Man surfaced. In his hand were the Captains patriotic underpants….
3 comments:
a waterslide/whorehouse... who would have figured?
That sounds like the best place ever.
pay as you go orgy...that rocks.
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