I was driving to work yesterday and up ahead I saw a car parked crookedly—half of the vehicle on the sidewalk, half of the vehicle on the road. In front of the car I noticed a guy standing up against a trash can. I wondered what the fuck he was doing so close to a trash can. As I drew closer I noticed he was glancing over his shoulder as if he were worried someone would see him. As I drew still closer still I realized the source of his concern. His dick was hanging over the side of the trash can. He was pissing. He wobbled and then fell back onto the hood of his car, piss flying everywhere. Now, this wasn’t on a country road but in town on the way into the city just passed a busy intersection. I hope this guy got arrested because there is no way in Hell he should have been driving at seven o’clock in the morning or any time for that matter.