An open letter to the little cocksucker that was riding my ass in the Nissan Pathfinder last night: Listen you fucking little prick, when you drive so closely that I can’t see your headlights you are putting me in danger. I could give a good Goddamn if you drive yourself off a cliff or run into a boulder but when you start fucking with my well-being then I get pissed. So, I went 25 miles per hour in a 45 zone. It pissed you off didn’t it? Your second mistake was when you pulled up to the stop light and gave me the finger. You realized you made a mistake when you saw my eyes get big. I’ve never seen anyone drive so fast in all my life. Word to the wise: Don’t come anywhere near where you saw me last. I wrote down your license plate number and I’m waiting to find you and beat the shit out of you.
3 comments:
ugh. that happens all the time around here. it makes me want to drive a tank.
especially effective when said cocksucker has a vanity plate that's easy to remember... i hate those assholes.
I'm still laughing about your post, though I do take it seriously. Be warned, this next bit will be a tad long:
My father told me a story about an incident he witnessed while driving through a larger city in the area. Driving in his car, he drew near to an intersection as the light turned yellow. He slowed, and stopped for the red light.
To his left at that intersection where the light was turning green, there were two cars lined up. Once the light went green, the car up front didn't immediately move. The car behind began to honk. My father saw the driver of the car in front look back in his rear-view, but still he didn't move.
The driver of the car in back continued to honk. This prompted the driver of the car in front to exit his vehicle, walk around to the rear, check out the license plate of the car behind, then re-enter his car.
Of course, this infuriated the driver of the car in back, and doubling that, the light had now signaled yellow. Before the light could turn red, the driver in front geared into reverse, slammed into the car in back, triggering the airbag which literally punched the driver of the car behind in the face. The driver of the car in front sped off across the intersection, leaving the driver of the car behind with a spent airbag and a sore face.
I nearly pissed myself when he told me that. Hope you enjoyed it as well.
:)
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