The Guild of Indulgence will meet three weeks from today on the twelfth hour of the 5th of June in the year of our Lord 2006 for the 5th annual Indulgence Festival. This day will be celebrated with every conceivable form of confection and a bodyweight of no less than 21.42 stones (300 pounds) is required for entrance to the event which will be held on a small, cement and steel reinforced mountain on the outskirts of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Please bring XXXXX Depends so that you don’t have to get up from the table to use the bathroom. We wouldn’t want you to miss a single moment of what critics in recent years have called the world’s most disgusting display of overindulgence ever recorded in modern history. And don’t start in on about all the starving children in the world. If you go to church GOD will forgive you for all your sins. So what do you have to worry about? Eat like there is no tomorrow. Heck, throw some hot sauce on a starving kid and scarf him down if he gets too close to the table during the Indulgence festival. Remember you are a king let them watch you EAT!
3 comments:
Obviously the critics have never been to Oktoberfest...
hey, we can get all the morbidly obese people in one place and lock them up till they lose all that weight.
i mean. um. nevermind.
Remember, save the heroin for last.
Post a Comment