A Guide to the Galaxy in your underpants

You will find yourself in the cesspool of life, the hacks paddling madly to stay afloat, their underpants filled with gold bullion, and they will grab onto your vitals, knee you in the groin so they might save themselves. I recommend a sharp elbow to the bridge of the nose, an uppercut placed squarely on the chin, a gouge with index finger extended--yes, directly in their hollow eyes. When enough of them have sunk to their precious metal hastened depths they will in fact have formed a platform of bodies and you will every so gracefully step up onto dry land, leaving them in the shit water. You will turn and look at all of them--some still twitching--and for a moment you will feel sorry for them but then you will hear the song of the ice-cream truck and will turn and run, knocking down all the kids that have already begun chase. You won’t feel sorry because after all, you’re still a kid at heart.