In a crowd of myself.  Seeing all the MEs.  I watch as they wander and wonder and bump into each other on their way to nowhere in particular.  I want to lasso them all and pull them close, get them to concentrate on the bouncing ball that hops over the narrative of our lives.  They are too far apart though and so I just watch as they grow further and further apart, too fragmented to ever come together, too me to ever be anything but what they are...

I sit in this chair and stare.  I can see everything but nothing touches me.  Time ticks by and by and I sink deeper and deeper into the faux leather.  Only my eyes and the top of my head are visible now--in case any cares to look.  I reach up and try to grab the arms of the chair but I'm already too far gone.  Soon enough I will see nothing and nothing will see me.

Lost and losing, everything confusing.  I'm done and not quite sure why.  If you could tell me, sell me, on this notion of time I might be agreeable but as it stands I can't befriend this mortal enemy.  Nothing good comes from it.  Nothing at all.

Sometimes you need a good friend to tell you that its okay to pursue a dream, that you only have one life and that you shouldn't live it under anyone else's terms.  In the back of my mind I knew this but sometimes the world puts pressures on you and you feel that you should be doing something else when the one thing you love to do is pushed aside.  Fuck it.  I'm not going to live my life wishing I had purued my true passion.  There may be consequences but I'd rather live with those than regret...

I remember seeing this kid on The Late Show a few years ago.  He was whacked out on some sort of drug and not making a whole lot of sense.  I think the reason for his visit on the show was to promote a book.  He was famous for something else which escapes me now but had become an "author."  His "book" contained one word.  Throughout the interview he was pompous and condescending.  He seemed to think his idea of a one word "book"  was brilliant. What I wanted to tell this kid was that his idea for a one word book was one of those ideas we all have after smoking a joint.  The difference is that most of us disregard these ideas later realizing that they are stupid.  What seems earth shattering while you're high doesn't necessarily translate into the clear minded world.  Evidently he didn't stay clear minded long enough to realize his book idea made him look like an immature ass...