Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I am a robot, thank-you, yes I am--a machine incapable of emotion. I think I was once human. Somewhere buried deep in my circuitry are the remnants of my human remains--charred and unidentifiable. Artificial blood surges through the plastic tubing that runs under my synthetic skin. My tears are a clever combination of French fry salt and a petroleum based lubricant. I have no need for tears other than to moisten my glass eyes—all the better see you with him my dear. Yes, I can see others interact—love—and the concept is foreign to me, like raking leaves with a garden hose. My unemotional and rational mind cannot make the connection so don’t worry about me. I can’t feel a damn thing. I am a robot, thank-you, yes I am--a machine incapable of emotion.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Thirty-two pounds. Thirty-seven pounds. Forty-two pounds. Forty-six pounds. We weighed you in the basement on the scale that I now have at the gym. I see it every day. I weigh myself on it at least five times a week and I just remembered that you stood on that scale many times but you never will again.

One hundred and eighty five pounds. One hundred and forty-eight pounds. One hundred and two pounds. Fifty-eight pounds. Twenty-six pounds. Zero pounds. We won’t be weighing you on the way down, kid. I’m sorry. I would have kept weighing you if I knew you were going to do this. If I thought it would have prevented this…

Remember how Goldie would play games with you while your dad and I were in the basement? She will be there tomorrow. I will be there tomorrow and it won’t mean a good goddamn. You’ll be there but you won’t be there. You’ll be in the basement on that scale, in my mind, in my heart, forever. So long kid…
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